Posted Wednesday, August 28, 2002
Excuse me, I belive you have my stapler

Posted Wednesday, August 28, 2002
I was up all night sleeping

Posted Wednesday, August 21, 2002
Will it void my factory warranty?

Posted Friday, August 16, 2002
Sometimes when I feel like killing someone, I do a little trick to calm myself down. I'll go over to the person's house and ring the doorbell. When the person comes to the door, I'm gone. but you know what I've left on the porch? A jack-o-lantern with a knife in the side of its head with a note that says "You." After that, I usually feel a lot better, and no harm done.

Posted Friday, August 2, 2002
:-) =-0 :-$ :-/ :-( :-* :-!) :'( ;-) >:0 :-[
:-X :-P 8-) 0:-) :-D
16 mood swings in 2.3 seconds. Hmmmm Must be a record.

Posted Friday, August 2, 2002
Do not bother me when I am breathing.

Posted Friday, August 2, 2002
ARG! Shiver me timbers! Swab those decks boy!

Excuse me, I am having a pirate moment.

Posted Thursday, August 1, 2002
Where do babies come from?
Why is the grass green?
Why do fat women wear bikinis in public?

Posted Wednesday, July 24, 2002
L.A. County Morgue: You kill 'em we chill 'em, you stab 'em we slab 'em. How can I help you?

Posted Sunday, July 21, 2002
Have you ever wondered whether a turtle without its shell is homeless or simply naked?